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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27940814">Hiding Wheels</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/etymology_of_etymology/pseuds/etymology_of_etymology'>etymology_of_etymology</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Batman - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Batfamily (DCU), Bruce Wayne is So Done, Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, Domestic Fluff, Everyone keeps laughing at Batman, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff, Gen, Humor, Jason Todd Steals the Batmobile Tires, Jason Todd is Red Hood, Pranks, canonically Bruce's kids can and will steal his super secret passwords</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 22:36:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>934</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27940814</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/etymology_of_etymology/pseuds/etymology_of_etymology</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Okay, but seriously, Bats. What is up with that?"</p>
<p>"My children think giving me tension headaches is funny."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jason Todd &amp; Bruce Wayne</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>484</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Hiding Wheels</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">

        <li>
          Translation into 中文-普通话 國語 available: 
            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29178225">【授權翻譯】Hiding Wheels</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubylee2017/pseuds/rubylee2017">rubylee2017</a>
        </li>


    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Batman couldn't help but pause when he walked into the Watch Tower breakroom.</p>
<p>"So Bats, we've been wondering..." Plastic Man started as he stretched his head from across the room where he and Booster Gold were playing video games.</p>
<p>"Hmm."</p>
<p>"Why the Batmobile lost a wheel?"</p>
<p>"And more importantly," Booster chimed in, "did the Joker get away?" Plastic Man's head snapped back into place as the two of them high-fived.</p>
<p>"Hmm."</p>
<p>"Okay, but seriously, Bats," Booster said. "What is up with that?" He gestured to the large tire in the middle of the room with the bat symbol emblazoned on it. The was a sticky note attached with another bat symbol - more rectangular than the usual one - drawn on it with red ink.</p>
<p>"My children think giving me tension headaches is funny."</p>
<p>At that the two of them burst into laughter. "Wait, wait, wait." Plastic Man got out between wheezes. "Are you telling me that motorcycle punk here," he morphed his hand into a very familiar helmet covered head, "is one of yours?"</p>
<p>Batman looked up from where he had been studying the note (<em>studying, </em>not avoiding looking at his teammates as they laughed at him). "He let you see him?"</p>
<p>"He rolled in a <em>tire</em>, Bats." Plastic Man shifted his entire body so he could surround the tire with an assortment of arrows and signposts, as if that would prove his point. "How oblivious do you think we are?"</p>
<p>"Hrmmm."</p>
<p>"That's very hurtful, Bats."</p>
<p>"But we did see him," Booster piped up. "Plas and I even asked him what he was doing, all responsible-like."</p>
<p>Batman sighed internally. 4pm was way too early to deal with this.</p>
<p>"I know I'm going to regret asking, but what did he say?"</p>
<p>"He said: 'Don't worry about it.' Hey can you toss me that bag of chips?"</p>
<p>Batman turned and left the room. But of course, he could still hear the two of them as he walked away.</p>
<p>"I bet he's just upset cause one of his kids went punk instead of goth. Hey! Blue shells are unfair!"</p>
<p>"Tough luck, Plas."</p>
<p>He really needed to change his League password.</p>
<p>
  <strong>...</strong>
</p>
<p>This had all started just a few months ago. He's not even sure what he did to deserve it (this time). Either Jason was annoyed at him or just plain old bored.</p>
<p>"Father," Damian had said.</p>
<p>It had been one of those days, weeks really, where there didn't seem to be any disaster on the horizon for once. Honestly, that should have been his first clue that something was off. There was always something. He rarely ever got a chance to just sit down in one of his favorite armchairs and read a book. </p>
<p>Bruce marked his spot in the book. "Yes, Damian?"</p>
<p>"There is a tire in Batcow's stall."</p>
<p>"Wha- I'm sorry, what?"</p>
<p>Damian held up a sticky note with the Red Hood's bat symbol on it. "I think Todd wants your attention, Father."</p>
<p>Bruce put his book down and stood up. He should have known better than to think he could read and relax without some sort of prank war breaking out. "I'll take care of the tire, Damian."</p>
<p>
  <strong>...</strong>
</p>
<p>"Jason why?"</p>
<p>"I have no clue what you're talking about, old man."</p>
<p>"The tire, Jason."</p>
<p>"What's a tire?"</p>
<p>"Jay, lad please."</p>
<p>"You would accuse <em>me</em>..." Jason put the back of his hand on his forehead and leaned back in his chair dramatically. "...your own son..."</p>
<p>"Batcow's stall."</p>
<p>"...of wrongdoing. Oh, yeah that was me." Jason righted himself and got back to the puzzle on the table.</p>
<p>"Jay why?"</p>
<p>"Don't be greedy, B."</p>
<p>"Yeah, death to capitalism," Steph said. "Oh, found an edge piece."</p>
<p>"It can't be an edge piece," Duke said. "I'm sure we already found all of those."</p>
<p>"Let me see that." Jason took the piece from Steph. After a moment of silence he turned to Bruce. "Why are there multiple puzzles in one box?"</p>
<p>"It's more challenging that way."</p>
<p>Steph put her head down in her arms and started to either laugh or cry. Wait, she was definitely laughing. </p>
<p>"Bruce." Duke was also laughing. "Could you chill out for like five minutes?"</p>
<p>"The last time I tried to <em>chill out</em> Damian told me there was a tire in Batcow's stall."</p>
<p>This apparently did not help his case as the three of them only started to laugh harder.</p>
<p>
  <strong>...</strong>
</p>
<p>He should have seen the escalation to the Justice League's space satellite base from a mile off. It was too much to hope that Jason would get bored of the game sooner rather than later.</p>
<p>He had found the Batmobile's tires on other cars he owned (as Bruce Wayne), in the kitchen, the living room , in a completely separate living room, on the roof. There were tires found in his personal bathroom and inside his bathtub (with a full bubble bath in progress and covered in rubber ducks because at this point <em>why not</em>). There had even been a tire tucked under the covers of his bed. </p>
<p>He eventually started finding his tires all over Gotham. They were mostly on top of buildings and inside numerous safehouses. He had found one or two hung up as tire swings in neighborhoods that had no playsets; he left those where he found them. If the Wayne Foundation just happened to start funding playground construction in those same neighborhoods right afterwards it was unrelated. </p>
<p>
  <strong>...</strong>
</p>
<p>Any hope Bruce had that the pranks would stop after Jason hid a tire in space were dashed when he received a call from Diana the next day.</p>
<p>"There was a package left for you on Themesycra."</p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Now there's a <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27951281/chapters/68455040">sequel</a>!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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